For those new to bottoming, we acknowledge that it can be challenging. However, with practice and understanding, discomfort can transform into pleasure. Mainstream sex education often overlooks the LGBTQ+ community, leaving many seeking information on their own.
In this post, we offer guidance to help gay and bisexual men navigate the world of bottoming. We provide 7 essential tips to empower individuals with knowledge and enhance their experiences.
1. Preparation is key
A clean and hygienic start is crucial for both physical and psychological comfort. Take time to freshen up before you begin. Ensure you're not preoccupied with cleanliness concerns during the act.
- Hygiene Matters: When planning anal penetration, consider maintaining good hygiene to minimise any mess. Douching, which involves using water to cleanse the rectum, can be a useful technique.
- Fibre-Rich Diet: Your diet plays a significant role in preparation. Consume high-fibre foods to naturally cleanse the colon. Vegetarians often find they need less extensive cleaning due to their fibre-rich diet. If you're not vegetarian, consider incorporating daily fibre supplements.
- Safe Sex Practices: Be equipped with your preferred method for safe sex, whether it's condoms, medications, or another prophylactic. Safety should always be a top priority.
- Shave correctly: Our innovative Bumzzy Butt Shaver is specially designed for your bum, ensuring a smooth result without any hassle. It's like an extension of your hand, making it effortless to reach every area. Read our detailed shaving guide here.
2. Lube is your best friend
Ample lubrication is essential for a comfortable and pleasurable intimate experience, particularly for beginners. It helps reduce discomfort, increases arousal, and maintains the suppleness of anal tissues. Extra lubrication is crucial for bottoming since the anus lacks natural lubrication. Apply lubricant not only internally but also on condoms, body parts, or sex toys. If you're using silicone toys, opt for water-based lubricants to avoid any potential damage.
3. Fight the urge to clench
Your natural response will be to clench but suppressing the reflex to tighten up is crucial. Instead of pushing outward, your focus should be on remaining in a state of relaxation. Over time and with continued penetration, your body will naturally ease into the experience.
4. Go slow and communicate
Take it slow and gradually work up to full penetration. Prioritise your comfort over speed. Communicate openly about what feels good and what doesn't, and don't hesitate to request changes in pace or positions. Remember, your partner can't read your mind, so express both physical and emotional needs to make the experience enjoyable for both of you.
5. Be careful when douching
When using a douching bulb or enema, don't rush the process, especially if you're new to it. It's not just about flushing water into your rectum; it's also about getting comfortable and relaxing your muscles before any intimate activity.
Choose a quality douching bulb with a smooth nozzle and use silicone lube in the shower. Gently insert the nozzle, squeeze the bulb slowly, and remove the nozzle in the same manner. Hold the water briefly, then release it into the toilet. You may need to repeat this process a few times, but don't overdo it.
6. Be less paranoid about poop
While it's natural to desire a clean experience, being overly paranoid about this can lead to unnecessary anxiety and disrupt the enjoyment of intimate moments. Remember, anal sex involves the rectum, and occasional traces of feces are a possibility, even after thorough preparation. The best partners understand that bodily functions can sometimes be beyond one's control. Whether you identify as a top, bottom, or versatile, it's important to be less preoccupied with this concern, as it's a natural aspect of the experience.
7. Stay safe
In today's era, PrEP offers added protection against HIV transmission for HIV-negative individuals, which, as per available statistics, proves to be more reliable than regular condom use. However, while PrEP has the potential to reduce HIV transmission rates among those who can access it, the rates of other STIs such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis are on the rise. Frequent testing serves as a responsive healthcare measure rather than a preventative one.